Does this feeling sound familiar?

You've been at this block for hours, you know the time has been ticking away but you don't care. All that matters in the world is this block, all that matters is getting better and getting across this block, you've had moments of frustration, you've left the block far too early, you've had awful prestafe, but you're still there doing it. You've seen people do this block 10 times, you know further than this is possible so why haven't you done it yet? People message you on steam friends so you reply to them, load the checkpoint and keep going. Your eyes are sore from doing it and you think your wrist might drop off if you did it much longer. You load up that checkpoint at your perfect starting point, you're fully concentrated and you sync up another prestrafe, you're in the air.. left right left right.. you're ready to press you gocheck bind.. you land on the other block.. you did it.. the sound of the longjump mod plays loudly through your headset and you're overwhelmed with the feeling and exhale in relief.

You're playing that map you've played 100 times over, it's not a hard map, you've done almost perfect runs on it plenty of times, but you know you can do better, you've seen people do better. The first rooms go smoothly and you're just playing this map because you enjoy it, you get half way through the map and you're hopping across the blocks.. every jump is flawless and you know this is a fast run. You get to that shortcut that you've practised so many times and you know that you hate this shortcut, as you approach it you get nervous because you don't want to fall now.. this could be the run you've been working towards, you aren't confident you can make it you don't believe in yourself.. you jump.. come on.. you land it and hop to the next block. Now you're excited, you're concentrating.. come on.. left here.. land here.. you can see the end timer and it reads a glorious time, you're mashing strafe to run faster or you're hopping across the ground towards it closer and closer. You're there and you almost break your keyboard mashing your use key. You step back to see the timer with your personal best smashed and you get rewarded with the feeling.

You know that this map is above your skill level, you spend 10 minutes on each section and the bhop parts are incredibly difficult so every time you complete a section you feel good. You're presented with a block just under your personal best distance and you know this wont be easy, you don't expect to be able to do it here and now in the middle of a map but you make it, you feel like a little celebration but you carry on you know this a challenge worth stepping up to. Maybe 40 minutes after starting and having little tastes of the feeling with every successful jump you hit the end timer, you don't care that your time was awful, you don't care that you used checkpoints, you did it and yet again you get to experience the feeling.

The feeling is what makes you want to get out of your chair and cheer at your own accomplishment, it's what makes you immediately want to tell your friend about what you just did, it's the rush of adrenaline and satisfaction that makes you feel great. It's the same feeling you get when you did well in an exam, it's the same feeling you get when you pass your driving test and it's the same feeling you get when you get that 5 man ace against a CS team that you know are better than you. The feeling is what makes me happy to play day in day out, the feeling drives me to improve and rewards me when I do.

My name is epi, I've only ever jumped 250 6 times in my life, I've never come close to a world record, I've never discovered anything new, I've never won a cup and I would get destroyed on any map by a competent jumper, but these aren't my goals, I'm just happy to play.

Which website has provided me with people to respect, displays of godlike skill and provided nearly all the resources a jumper could ever need? Xtreme-Jumps has.

Thank you everybody better than me, thank you everybody I play with, thank you everybody who is a pleasure to teach something to, I plan to keep playing for much longer and I hope everybody else continues to do so too. I hope that in reading this you remember those times you felt great, the memories you will take with you when you move on and the people that were with you when you made them.

Ya... Nothing more to say.

The question is.. what was the point of the rambling. o_O

nice reading ^^

The point was to write something that was enjoyable to read because I enjoy writing.

Very well written, the text flows nicely.

lol really nice and deep. and btw when i did 267 i couldnt describe the feeling in my stomach srsly i called shnz just to tell him this .. but ur right, the game itself CANNOT improve anything in you and in ur real life but just the feeling ur talking about is making you feel so good. absolutely right , btw +1 to interview

I'd edit the first part if I was you:

"...You load up that checkpoint at your perfect starting point, you're fully concentrated and you sync up another prestrafe, you're in the air.. left right left right.. you're ready to press you gocheck bind.. you land on the other block.. you did it..."

But, to your horror, the countless hours of gochecking had not worn off on your finger, and automatically you press your bind and fly back to the other side of the jump. The world seems to be moving in slowmotion as you move your mouse frantically, shooting like a madman. Still in slowmotion, you take off your headphones and jab them into your computer screen. You unplug your keyboard and smash it repeatedly into the wall without mercy. Keyboard keys everywhere, you pick up your computer and, while screaming at the top of your lungs like a warrior on his last stand, you throw it out the window and spectate with satisfaction as it smashes into a million little pieces on the sidewalk.
You open a can of sprite and go watch T.V, uttering under your breath, "Fuck kz."


By the way, kz gets less fun as you get better at it.

Originally posted by ndR

I might seem pessimistic, but unfortunately this feeling doesn't remain for a long time ^^

Originally posted by aftermatch-_-

dude ur awesome